Not Afraid to Live

Does the thought of each new day excite you, or do you try to stay in bed as long as you can for fear of what the day may bring?

My site icon is a photo of some mountains that I came to know and love with the words “Life is an Adventure” hovering over the top of them.  I have tried to adopt that frame of mind since about 6 years ago when my life as I knew it suddenly took an unexpected turn.  The marriage I was fighting to save was unfortunately unsavable according to my husband of 19 years, and he “invited” me and our two youngest children to leave.

My two older children were already raised and out of the house, and both had been living in Texas (a place that I had sworn all my life that I would never live).  With no job, and no way to survive in the outrageously expensive Bay Area of Northern California, I packed up whatever I could in my F-150, sold enough of my belongings for gas money, and headed to Texas with my two youngest sons to stay with my daughter while I tried to regroup and “start over”.

God showed up right away in the little details, like bringing my oldest son back “coincidentally” in the same week that I had planned to make the 25-hour drive to Texas, though my son had no idea that’s what was happening.  I was so grateful to have a second driver and his love and support on one of the longest drives of my life.

I must confess it took me way to long to assimilate the “Life is an Adventure” mindset, and there were many days over the first 3 years that I either tried to stay in bed or didn’t leave the house because I was trying to hide from the craziness of life.  Fear and discouragement almost took me out a few times, but I’ve been blessed with wonderful, loving kids, and amazing friends and family, who have all contributed in one way or another to keeping me going on this journey called life, not to mention that I and my kids have been blessed with a great sense of humor which has been absolutely vital to our sanity and perseverance.

Several months ago the lyrics of a song grabbed my attention as I was driving along pushing the seek button on my stereo:

“…Hold on tight, slide a little closer
Up so high stars are on our shoulders
Time flies by, don’t close your eyes
[inch by inch, life] is like a thrill ride
What goes up might take us upside down
Life ain’t a merry go round…It’s a roller coaster…”

You may, or may not, have noticed I changed the words just a bit because I thought it was such a great way of looking at life.  I love rollercoasters, but I have been known to freak out a bit, scream a lot, convince myself I could die, hold on very tightly, and laugh uncontrollably at times. (I’ve had the same reaction just living life sometimes, haha)  Some people have a really hard time convincing themselves to take a chance and have some fun, embrace their fear to feel the thrill of the unknown and unexpected twists, turns, and flips turning them upside down, to just make up their mind to enjoy the ride.  Have you ever been in line and watched someone at the last minute decide they couldn’t go through with it?  they always look so disappointed as they walk away.

Well, anyway…I just think it’s a great comparison of how some people live their lives, and I’m determined to be one who’s not afraid to hold on tight when I need to, close my eyes and pray if necessary,  roll with the twists and turns, try to keep a smile on my face, and hopefully encourage others to do the same.

(Enjoy the video for the song below.)

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One Response to Not Afraid to Live

  1. Shelby says:

    Thank you! You have had an interesting life and I can’t wait until spring when we gather at my oasis and share together.


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