The familiar cry of the mourning dove stirs within me memories of my first mornings in Texas when I was doing plenty of my own crying. It’s strange how certain sounds, smells, and even seasons can evoke such powerful memories within our heart and mind, and no matter how much time has passed since a certain experience, the emotion attached to it can suddenly seem so very strong, as if it only happened ‘yesterday’. Thankfully, I have grown to move quickly past the painful emotions attached to memories and I am able to remember them with joy and gratitude.
The move to Texas was also the beginning of an important part of my journey of faith; one that many times felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster and at other times an intense spiritual boot camp. Most of the time, I had NO IDEA what was happening. I can still imagine myself metaphorically hanging on for dear life, with white knuckles and a tear-stained face. Countless times I wanted to give up, but the Spirit inside of me would not allow it. I thank God for His promise to never leave me or forsake me. When I couldn’t fight, He fought for me. When I didn’t know what to believe, He helped my unbelief. When I doubted God’s love for me, He pursued me. When I was angry, He was patient. When I cried out, He answered. And, when I was faithless, He was faithful. He surrounded me with friends and people who prayed for me, and with me. When I was in need, He would provide through the generosity of others. He never gave up on me. Through it all, He proved to me that I could trust Him, not that He needed to prove it, but I needed to realize it and then choose to trust Him, no matter what.
So many treasures I discovered throughout my first five years in Texas, but learning to trust in the Lord with all my heart rather than rely on my own thoughts and understanding was pivotal in my relationship with Him, because you can’t have a strong, healthy, lasting relationship with someone you don’t trust. I learned years ago that love is a choice, now I know that trust is a choice as well.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.”
Are you trusting the Lord with everything?
Is there something you need to surrender?
Something that you need to stop trying to figure out, and stop trying to tell God how he should work it out?